Lesson #8: Becoming Self Aware


Self-awareness is not a destination, it’s a journey. And I say becoming self-aware because it’s a long, often uncomfortable process of shedding old versions of yourself to make room for the new, more conscious self. It’s a molding, a refinement, a deep knowing of who you are.

Self-awareness requires reflection, connecting the dots, and confronting the hardest part, changing negative, harmful behavior patterns. It’s about recognizing the underlying patterns that drive your actions, understanding their impact, and choosing differently.

Relationships as Mirrors

Our relationships teach us a lot about ourselves. But a close romantic relationship, in particular, is like holding a mirror up to your soul. It forces you to confront yourself in ways no other situation can.

I have been fortunate to be on a healing journey with my partner. Together, we’ve learned, grown, and held each other accountable. He has been a fundamental part of my journey to becoming more self-aware, helping me tune into my feelings, recognize the impact of my behavior, and reflect on how I show up every single day.

We choose each other daily, but we also choose ourselves. We invest in our health, our family, and in simply doing the work. That accountability, that willingness to grow together, has been transformative. It is a work in progress, and there isn't a day that I am not grateful for the journey.

Shedding Old Narratives

For me, becoming self-aware has meant confronting the ways I used to cope, isolating myself, seeing myself as a victim, and believing that life was happening to me rather than through me. Those narratives didn’t serve me.

Self-awareness demanded that I redefine them. It meant taking responsibility for my thoughts, my choices, and ultimately, how I show up, for myself and for those I love. It meant learning to pause, reflect, and ask, Why am I reacting this way? What is this teaching me? How can I grow from this?

The Lesson

Lesson #8: Becoming Self-Aware.

Self-awareness is the foundation of growth. It’s the quiet courage to face yourself, to shed what no longer serves you, and to step into the person you are becoming.

It’s not easy. It’s not quick. But it is worth it. Because the more self-aware you become, the more intentional your life becomes, and the more authentic your relationships, your choices, and your journey will be.

The Daily Practice of Awareness

Self-awareness isn’t achieved once and for all, it’s a daily practice. It’s choosing to:

  • Notice your triggers and patterns.

  • Reflect on your actions without judgment, but with honesty.

  • Accept feedback, even when it stings.

  • Hold yourself accountable, while extending grace to yourself.

  • Keep evolving, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Self-awareness grows when we make reflection a habit. Here are three simple questions you can ask yourself each day:

  1. “How did I show up today?” Reflect on your actions, words, and energy. Did they align with your values?

  2. “What triggered me today, and why?” Notice moments of frustration, sadness, or defensiveness. What patterns or beliefs were behind them?

  3. “What can I choose differently tomorrow?” Identify one small shift, whether in attitude, behavior, or response, that could move you closer to the person you want to become.

By asking these questions consistently, you begin to connect the dots between your inner world and your outer actions. Over time, this practice helps you shed old narratives, refine your choices, and step into a more intentional, self-aware version of yourself.


~ Nerusha

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