Lesson#4 Love Yourself


It’s taken me a while to write this post, not because I didn’t want to, but because it holds such a significant lesson. One that’s deeply personal, incredibly complex, and honestly, very difficult to work through.

We all have layers, beliefs and perceptions that shape how we see ourselves, our worth, and how we move through life. So much of this stems from our early experiences. Childhood, past relationships, situations, and environments all contribute to how we define ourselves. They mold the lens through which we view our value and ultimately determine how we treat ourselves.

For me, this journey of understanding and redefining self-worth has been anything but easy. What’s made it especially challenging is unlearning the stories I used to tell myself, the ones I was conditioned to believe.

We all have an internal voice. For some, that inner critic is louder and more vicious than it should ever be. And when you constantly criticize yourself, over time, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You start to live out the very limitations you’ve imposed on yourself.

Here are just a few of the things I used to tell myself:

  • “I don’t really deserve this… because of x, and z.”
    • I would invalidate my own desires, convincing myself I had no right to want more.
  • “It’s okay if people treat me this way… maybe I even deserve it.”
    • This kept me from standing up for myself, allowing mistreatment to go unchallenged.
  • “If I do things to please others, I’m a good person.”
    • I put others’ comfort ahead of my own, constantly trying to prove my worth through people-pleasing.
  • “I’m not pretty enough, how could anyone truly love me?”
    •  I doubted my value, convinced that I was unlovable or not enough.
  • “Am I such a bad person that people don’t take the time to truly know me?”
    • This led to deep feelings of rejection and isolation.

There were so many harmful narratives playing on repeat in my mind, and they shaped not just how I saw myself, but how I allowed others to treat me. From parents to friends to complete strangers, I placed more importance on their opinions and validation than my own voice.

Seeking validation from outside sources is a toxic cycle. It chips away at your spirit. It gives your power away, handing your emotions, your peace, and your self-worth over to people who were never meant to hold it.

For me, the struggle with self-worth has always been internal. On the outside, I may have seemed fine, maybe it’s a personality trait or maybe it’s just how I’ve learned to cope. But inside, there was always this quiet voice questioning everything:

What if I’m not enough?

What if I can’t have that?

What if I’m not meant for more?

These limitations,  these inner dialogues,  were self-inflicted. And they held me back in so many areas of my life.


If you’re on a similar journey, just know this:

You’re not alone. These thoughts are not facts. And every story you’ve told yourself can be rewritten.


You are worthy. You always were.

Even before you knew it.


“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

— Buddha


~Nerusha


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